"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end..."

I did it. I finished nursing school. In 1 week and 1 day, I will be getting pinned and celebrating the rollercoaster of a last 18 months. I knew nursing school would be hard, but I didn't realize all the ways it would test me. I've worked my butt off, accepting that I've worked harder for some of the B's I earned more than I ever did before in school to earn an A. Despite it all, I'm proud to say I finished nursing school with all A's and B's. I really wanted to be one of the students to prove the naysayers wrong, all those teachers and advisors saying, "No one earns all A's in nursing school." The thing is...it is so much more than grades. I've met incredible patients, been touched by their stories, and learned from nurses- lessons both good and bad. 

Now, I'm moving forward to this next chapter, the part where I pass my boards and get a real RN job. It is funny because the path I thought I so carefully laid for myself and my future as a nurse has been changed by circumstances and gut feelings. It has left me in a period of uncertainty and many sleepless nights. I've repeated my thoughts, fears, and more to a few people over and over, thankful for their patience. Lately, I've been trying to spend my nights thinking of more mundane things like things I need to do (unrelated to nursing) or anything random that isn't too distressing. I try and remind myself that no matter where I decide to work, it isn't permanent...it isn't a death sentence. I will be with patients who need my love and care, and I will be the best nurse I can be. My gift is deep empathy, despite it being a difficult gift at times, and I know in my heart of hearts that gift is really going to matter to someone who needs it.

I haven't been part of a big clique or anything in nursing school, and although I find myself on the fringe, I know I have made two really amazing, lifelong sister-friends. They have blessed me on this path more than they could possibly know, and I am so thankful for them. My family and dearest friends have been there for me and cheered me on since the moment nursing school was a thought in my mind. 

In fact, I vividly remember the first time I truly considered the real possibility of nursing school. January 2015, I attended my sister's pinning ceremony, and I was so proud. I was enamored. I thought, "Maybe I could be a nurse." Since that day, I watched my sister's nursing journey, loving to hear all about the path she'd taken. 

One day, I decided to enroll in some prerequisite classes, thinking I might just apply to the nursing program. Two full time semesters later (done while still teaching full time), I had all the classes I needed. I had almost the maximum number of points needed for the program, and I did really well on the entrance test. I waited an extra long time, through a hurricane that delayed everything, to find out I'd been accepted. I was elated...and afraid. I considered starting a semester later, but the entrance exam changed and no way was I doing that again. So I did it. In December 2016, I turned in my letter of resignation in my 10th year teaching. I said goodbye to my friends and my precious students. I walked away from a career I'd worked so hard for. "Jump and the net will appear." I had no real plan other than copious student loans and substitute teaching. There was no real way of knowing how the crazy scheduling and demands of nursing school would impact my family life, but we made it through. I made it. Here I am.