Showing posts from November, 2011

Never alone

A couple nights ago, my daughter caused herself to puke since she was upset, well that was the straw on my back.  I cried my eyes out, and while my hormonal woman time is sure to be partially to blame, I know that that's not all.

It is very hard sometimes to deal with those "mommy frustrations."  

Sometimes for me, it is impossible.

While I won't totally go into it, I will admit something. My "post-partum depression" is really more like post-partum OCD.  My life, at different periods since having bitty, have been filled with overwhelming thoughts of "what if I harmed her?"  Or if I go look in on her and check on her breathing, as I still always do every single day...well, sometimes my brain signals get mixed up.  My relief at her being okay gets mixed up with my worries, such as what if she stopped breathing, and the result is I feel relieved but am attributing it to whatever fear I had coming true.  Which is torturous.  It has made me feel at times …

Day 13: Food can change your life

I cannot put into words how much the documentary Food Matters changed my thinking.  To think that we can truly heal ourselves, not just from the common cold but from CANCER, with high dose vitamins and true quality blows me away.
I want to start treating my depression and anxiety with nutrition and high dose vitamins. I want to start treating my migraines and my chronic pain from RSD with nutrition and high dose vitamins.
How often do we see someone lose weight and ask them their secret?  "A lifestyle change," they say.

I would LOVE to see the day-to-day diet of these folks.  Are they eating a diet with 51 percent of each meal consisting of raw foods?  Are they drinking enough water?  Are they eating local fruits and vegetables?  Are they eating super foods?  

I don't say this to question folks lifestyle changes.  Some friends of mine have truly changed their diets and lifestyle.

But having been there myself, I also know that weight loss can come from extremely …

Day 11: Back and angry

So much for 30 consecutive days of blogging.  I took a couple days to celebrate hub's birthday, but I'm back.  In my defense, I've blogged more this month than in the last few months combined.

Yesterday, we watched a presentation by a charitable organization that we are required to watch each year.  I'm not sure how it is even allowable to require us to watch such a presentation, but I show up every year and sit through it.

Every year, I get angrier and more bitter.  Neither of which I enjoy feeling.

Don't get me wrong-I am actually a quite charitable person and donate or give of myself as much (or even more) than I can.  At one point, I was able to donate a sizable amount of money (for me) to a dear friend Jessica's wonderful non-profit called Beyond Measure Arts, which is an amazing, incredible, and worthy cause. I did it because I believe in the cause and because I believe in her mission.  I've done a number of other things, and I am proud to say I love giv…

Day 8: One month

In honor of our one month wedding anniversary, we are going to enjoy a banana dream cake (the kind we got for our wedding-our all time favorite long before the wedding), and tomorrow we get to celebrate Brandon's 28th year of life!

For today's blog, I share with you a poem that was chosen by Brandon and I and read at our wedding by my future sister-in-law.

Love by Roy Croft
I love you
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple.
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a re…

Day 7: Another day, another blog

Today I have been thinking about food...and water.  Not only is our theme in Reading this week Foods Around the World, but we are now two-thirds done with watching Food Matters.  (What can I say?  It takes us awhile with our busy schedules).

Did you know...(all info from the documentary Food Matters-available on Netflix streaming)
If you start a totally organic diet tomorrow, you actually will get sick?  Your body has to rid its tissue of toxins before it can start taking in the great nutrients an organic diet offers.

Most toxins are released through your bowels.  This is a good thing considering how nasty the toxins our bodies take in are.  Better to poop them out then sweat them out all over our skin to be reabsorbed.

Two handfuls of cashews contain a therapeutic amount of niacin, which can help reverse depression?

100,000+ people die in the U.S. each year from prescription medicine that has been prescribed to them and used exactly as directed.  The total doesn't account for overdose…

Day 6: What can I do?

Many times before, I've written about this empty feeling I have.  This lack of a sense of purpose.  Not that the things I do in life aren't fulfilling a purpose, but rather there is a purpose I am meant to fulfill that I am not.

While my family was in town for our wedding, I discussed this very issue.  My uncle, a doctor, and my aunt, a life insurance agent (get some, folks...its so important!) both seem to really enjoy their jobs and they've known me my entire life, so I let them weigh in.  The advice and discussion went to different areas, ranging from specifics, such as marketing and motivational speaker-to generals, such as apply for every job you see.  Others I've discussed it with have asked me thought provoking questions such as, "What do you really love to do?" and "If you could do anything, what would it be?"

I don't have the answers, but I do have a list of things I do really well.  
I have a way with words.  I can edit any paper and make…

Day 5: Concert state of mind

Tonight I went to see the Goo Goo Dolls in concert.  Wow.  What a great experience!  Not only were they amazing, but their opening act, Ryan Star, was awesome as well.  He gave me chills, the kind where you feel it not only on your arms and legs, but on your cheeks and scalp even.

One of the highlights of the GGD concert was when they played "Name."  Before they started, Johnny asked a young person in the audience how old he/she was.  Fourteen.  He went on to remark that when he wrote the song the young person was only a gleam in his/her parents eyes.  Funny!  He talked about how old that made him, then said it was hard to believe the song was 15 years old. 

Wait a second.  I remember vividly when their first hit, "Name," came out.  I was 12.  My life was turned upside down by illness, but I had music.  A Boy Named Goo was one of the albums I got back during that era.  Yes, I bought it just for that song.  But ever since their start, I've really enjoyed GGD.  I c…

Day 4: Gratitude

I want to thank You, God, For life and all that’s in it. Thank You for the day And for the hour and for the minute. I know many are gone; I’m still living on. I want to thank You. -Maya Angelou
I had a great night with my sweet husband and now I'm going to go snuggle next to him.  Tomorrow, I will wake to my sweet daughter and crazy dogs and the man I love next to me.  I am thankful for today.

Day 3: Sick of writing prompts

The prompts to write about writing are boring me, so...I'm not doing it.

Hmm, what to write about?  Well, how about my busy week this week...

This week, I had a ton on my plate.  2 days of tutoring, 1 long night of conferences, followed by 1 long day of work with our school award ceremony and a faculty meeting.  A co-worker and I presented to the faculty information we learned about asking quality questions during reading (and across curriculum).  I must admit I was weary of presenting because the last time I did I was 8 months pregnant and got very hot and breathless.  Even though I'm comfortable in front of large groups (the larger the better), I still get a little bit of the jitters.  Those who know me, know I am a fast talker, but fast talking plus pregnancy equal a winded mama.  I was afraid that maybe it would happen again, that maybe it wasn't just a "pregnancy thing."

It was just a pregnancy thing.  Yay!  I feel that overall the training went well, and the t…

Day 2: Last meal

"If you knew that whatever you ate next would be your last meal, what would you want it to be?"

Food.  I love food.  How hard is it to pick just one last meal?  I need a whole day of eating to get through my many favorites.

I'd have to have bacon.  Real bacon, not turkey bacon.  Crispy.  Yum.

Spaghetti and meatballs with garlic toast and a tall glass of 1% milk.

Croissants with melted cheese and mashed potatoes.

Chips and homemade guacamole with a frosty margarita (or 3, after all I'm dying right) alongside.

Indian butter chicken with lots of naan and rice.

Sushi rolls and edamame and miso soup.

Banana dream cake.

Some frozen yogurt from Redberry.

Reese's peanut butter cups and their peanut butter Easter eggs (hey, if its my last meal, might as well go out with a bang!)

Is there any way I could possibly eat this all in one meal?  See, I need a day!

Day 1: Why I love to write

So I decided that I am going to participate in NaBloPoMo ( after seeing The Feminist Breedermention it on her Facebook.

Today's prompt asks to write about why you love to write.

I love to write, and I always have.  In my early teen years, I wrote angsty poetry with a group of my friends.  I journaled.  I wrote unsent letters.  In my later teen years, I discovered blogging.  I blogged in diary format for years.  Two years into my blogging, the server I'd been using (UJournal) crashed and lost everything.  Even though I was devastated, I moved on and picked up with another blog.  When I went to Guatemala to teach English for a month after graduating college, I blogged about my adventures there.  Back in the day of Myspace, I did blogged using their feature.  

Then, I stopped.  

About one year ago, I decided to jokingly start a blog, hoping to become rich (not so much famous) like Dooce.  Long story short, Heather …