Journey to Motherhood

This week's phenomenal mom is a friend of mine who has become an even better friend with our babies just 4 months apart in age.  As you read Jen's story, you will come to find out that had things gone differently, our babies may have been days apart.  I am so honored to share this story, as it has been one that has really touched me as a mom.  I think it will touch your hearts as well.

 

For some, being pregnant and having a family comes easy.  For some, the throwing up, the back aches, the swollen feet, the big belly, the heartburn, and the labor are something to complain about.  For some, late night feedings, screaming, red faced babies, tantrums, being totally exhausted are things that are annoying…for me and my husband, those things are some of God’s greatest gifts.  Let’s go back 5 years!  It was May 2006 and I was getting ready to marry my best friend.  We had it all figured out...we had finished school, got great jobs, we were getting married, building our first house, and planning on having a family!  All I have ever wanted was to be a mom...from as far back as I can remember, being a mommy was the one thing on my to do list.  If I didn’t complete anything else from that list, it would be okay, as long as I was able to be a mommy.  Shortly before we were scheduled to exchange vows, my now hubby and I were talking about our future and about having a family...it was then that I said those dreaded words..."Watch us have a problem having a baby."  At the time, I didn’t really think that, but as the months turned into years, those words began to haunt me.  Did I really jinks ourselves...was it possible that I caused this by saying that?!!? 

We had an amazing wedding...everything I dreamed of and more.  We went on a beautiful honeymoon, and would have loved to have been that couple...you know the ones who come back all excited because 9 months later they would be a family of 3!  Yeah, well that would have been impossible in our case...if anything, our honeymoon should have been a red flag as to how the whole baby making process was going to be.  Nothing like stepping off the plane in Jamaica and being welcomed by your monthly friend.  I didn’t know much about how to get pregnant at the time...except for the obvious.  I never really thought I needed to know more...people all around me were getting pregnant...heck some who weren’t even trying!  It couldn’t be that hard I thought...boy was I wrong!

We started to try right away.  Each month that went by with a big fat negative, the more we became alarmed.  You should know that I have never been regular, so after learning more about the baby making process, I realized that we might actually need some help with this.  I went to my OB/GYN who sent me to get some tests and then sent us to a fertility doctor.  He did more tests and even some on my husband, and it was decided that we could have a baby!!   It was just going to take some work. 

I was put on clomid which required me to get an ultrasound right when my cycle started.  Then I would take a pill starting on day 5 for 6 days, and then get another ultrasound…maybe 2…depending on what was to be found.  This ultrasound would tell me if an egg or even eggs were produced.  If so, then I would give myself a shot, and 12 hours later, we needed to do the dirty.  After 6 months of what we liked to call “calendar sex” it was no longer fun, and in fact was taking a toll of both of us! We decided we needed a break.  I kept telling myself that we were fine as a family of two.  We had a dog and a cat and that was fine.  I was lying to myself, but at the time, it worked to get me through the days!

The doctor didn’t want us to give up to easily, so I had a Laparoscopy to see if there was possibly something else wrong in my uterus.  The doc discovered some tissues, but nothing serious and said in 3 months, we would go to the next step.  During those three months, we still tried…but we didn’t think anything would actually happen.  I did some more research on baby making, and came upon a website a cool website.  It talked about having sex every other day starting on day 10.  Also, starting on day 10, take an ovulation kit.  When the kit shows a positive, then have sex for the next 3 days, skip a day, then have it again the next…just in case.  We did this, but in order to make it not so much of an “okay, we need to do it”  we decided to get a calendar, and I just marked on it when I was ovulating, and also we had a little dot that reminded us about every other day.  Yeah, a lot of work…just to be a mom and a dad!    However, in September of 2008…

We got pregnant FINALLY, and we were soooo happy about it.  That happiness was short lived as we miscarried around 10 weeks.  We saw the heartbeat and everything up until the day it happened.  The sadness that followed was hard to deal with, but I wasn’t going to give up.

You can imagine our excitement and worry when we got pregnant just 1 month later!  This is where my story takes a turn for the worst and the better :)  I found out we were pregnant at 5 weeks.  The very next day, I started to spot!  The doc confirmed I was pregnant and sent me to do some HCG testing.  This too, showed I was pregnant and my hormones were doubling like they were supposed to.  The next thing was an ultrasound.  This was at 6 weeks, and it showed only a sac. I was devastated...I told myself I needed to be strong and that we would keep trying.  I even stopped taking my vitamins!  My OB sent me back at 7 weeks to confirm it was only a sac, and to our surprise there was our baby…heart beating and all!!! We were 7 weeks at this point.  Honestly, I felt like I was being teased…like at any time, I was going to just gush!  I hated going to the bathroom…in fact; I was terrified of the bathroom.  We made it to 12 weeks and we were soooooo excited!  We didn’t tell very many people, and we were excited to start sharing our great news.  We wanted the world to know that on September 22, 2009, we would finally be a mommy and a daddy!!

The night I was 12 weeks I woke up bleeding!!!  Are you kidding me?!?!?  We went to the ER, where we were informed I was still pregnant and to take it easy!  We went to the high risk doctor the next day, and the ultrasound didn’t show any signs of bleeding at all.  Eventually the bleeding went away, only to return heavier and even stronger by week 13.  I was finally diagnosed with a sub chronic hematoma and was put on bed rest.  I was told there was about a 60% chance that I would go into preterm labor before 24 weeks, and was even given directions on how to call 911 when I started to bleed.  The bleed was all the way around the sac, and it was a very good chance that it would cause a complete abruption of the placenta.  This news was devastating!

For the next 6 months, my life consisted of lying on a couch.  I only got up to use the restroom.  The bed rest didn’t bother me…sure I was board, but…it was the worry, it was the not knowing what was going to happen.  I have an amazing husband who was very supportive.  He made sure I was comfortable; he even slept on the other couch…for 6 months!!  I have some amazing family and friends who helped out…bringing me lunch, snacks, and dinner.  A friend from school came over almost every day to make sure I was taken care of.  My brother brought me lunch every day!  It took a team to make sure my baby was healthy and so was I.

At 19 weeks we had another ultrasound to check on the bleed.  This was supposed to be our appointment where we found out if we were going to be a mommy/daddy of a boy or a girl…this was not what we cared about at this point.  In fact, we didn’t care about the gender; we just wanted to have a healthy baby!  To our amazement, the bleed was gone….GONE!!!  I was still bleeding, but that was the clot coming out!  I still was at risk for preterm labor, amongst many other things….but my baby BOY was healthy and growing.  I was eventually put on moderate bed rest.  I needed to walk around a little, but I needed to rest as much as possible.  Each week that went by, I thanked God!  I will never forget when we hit 24 weeks, and then 28 weeks…we were getting so excited.  I was being followed closely with ultrasounds, and our baby boy was doing so well.  At 35 ½ weeks I was put into the hospital due to high blood pressure.  I was then induced a week later and gave birth to a very healthy baby boy!  Labor had its difficulties with me going into shock, and then our son being born with the cord around his neck!

Mommy & Bradyn

Happy family

Bradyn Eli was born at 10:02pm on September 2, 2009.  He weighed 6 pounds 13 ounces and was 18 ½ inches.  He has brightened our lives and has given us so much to live for.  He has taught us that everything truly does happen for a reason, and although it may not seem clear even now, I know there is a reason why things happened the way they did.  Our lives have forever been changed.  We don’t take anything for granted when it comes to being a parent.  Bradyn is our life.  He is why we get up each morning.  Middle of the night feedings was a blessing and reason to look into those baby eyes we had prayed for.  Tantrums mean he is here with us and healthy!!!  Yeah, being a parent is difficult…there are days that I am worn out, there are days where I want to lock myself in the closet and scream…but those are the days we had prayed for, and those are the days we are reminded just how blessed we truly are.

Bradyn & family at the beach (6 months)

Bradyn & Daddy (9 months)

Bradyn turns ONE!

We look at life in a completely different way now.  We cherish every moment we spend as a family.  Do we want more children?  Of course, and that is something I am working on daily…to overcome the fear of pregnancy!  I struggle every day with this, but the best medicine for that, is looking into the eyes of my healthy almost 2 year old!  

Proud parents with Bradyn (20 months...almost 2!!)

PGA's next big star