Not SuperMom!
Earlier today, I was wondering how do all the SuperMoms do it? What I mean is, how do all these moms that I know manage to do all that they do. I know moms who can keep an active social life, a house clean, and an ideal body weight. All at once! How is this possible? And what on earth are they drinking or eating that I'm not? Most days, I am glad to make it to the moment my head hits the pillow. After all, I spend my day tending to the needs of my 17 "kids" at work. Then, I pick up my child, who insists on another round of "Boom Boom Pow" on the mind-numbing drive home. Mind you, I don't care that the drive is mind-numbing, it is better than the alternative (mind blowing?)...Between Brandon and I, we manage to feed everyone (the dogs, the cat, the wee one) and ourselves, and sometimes the creatures in our house bathe.
That brings me to another point. How do all the SuperMoms stay so well groomed? I think that I had the same pedicure on my toes from 9 months pregnant until the polish chipped, disintegrated, or otherwise disappeared. If I manage to put makeup on, my day is a success. If I manage to wear an entirely clean outfit, my day is a success. Watch out folks, because if I make it out of the house in a clean outfit with makeup on and my hair did (that's right, I said "hair did") then I've made it-I've become a SuperMom! Forget a pedicure, I'd like to shower on a regular basis!
SuperMoms never lose their car keys or their wallets. They definitely do not lose both of these items in the same 60-day span. Do SuperMoms ever feel like they're losing their minds? Doubtful.
I may not be SuperMom, but I am SuperPissed. About 2 weeks ago, some punk ass teenager from our neighborhood broke into our house. To make a long story short, he lured the dog to the baby's room with turkey, then he sat on the couch, chillaxing and watching XXX films from the pay-per-view. Well, now Brandon comes in to tell me that someone potentially peed on our front walkway and broke our Halloween sign. Really? Brilliant! I wish these renters would just move away. But who knows who would move in next? We've already had the dog breeders with the crackhead son, now the unemployed mom and her delinquent children. Could our next neighbor be elderly and deaf? I'm just saying that because old people are cute sometimes; they're easy to ignore if they're grouchy. Deaf because we are those neighbors, the ones with the barking dogs. Plus, Ayla and I speak a little sign language, so we could keep it simple. Our conversation would go like this:
Me: "Hello, how are you?"
Neighbor: "Good, thank you."
Me: (smiles awkwardly)
Ayla: "Milk. More. Eat. Please."
Neighbor: (signs something I obviously do not understand)
Ayla: (hits her diaper and starts verbally saying "Pee pee, ca-ca."
Me: (waves goodbye awkwardly)
Okay...so maybe it wouldn't go so well.
SuperMoms out there, I salute you. The next time you see me, I might just be wearing makeup AND clean clothes.
That brings me to another point. How do all the SuperMoms stay so well groomed? I think that I had the same pedicure on my toes from 9 months pregnant until the polish chipped, disintegrated, or otherwise disappeared. If I manage to put makeup on, my day is a success. If I manage to wear an entirely clean outfit, my day is a success. Watch out folks, because if I make it out of the house in a clean outfit with makeup on and my hair did (that's right, I said "hair did") then I've made it-I've become a SuperMom! Forget a pedicure, I'd like to shower on a regular basis!
SuperMoms never lose their car keys or their wallets. They definitely do not lose both of these items in the same 60-day span. Do SuperMoms ever feel like they're losing their minds? Doubtful.
I may not be SuperMom, but I am SuperPissed. About 2 weeks ago, some punk ass teenager from our neighborhood broke into our house. To make a long story short, he lured the dog to the baby's room with turkey, then he sat on the couch, chillaxing and watching XXX films from the pay-per-view. Well, now Brandon comes in to tell me that someone potentially peed on our front walkway and broke our Halloween sign. Really? Brilliant! I wish these renters would just move away. But who knows who would move in next? We've already had the dog breeders with the crackhead son, now the unemployed mom and her delinquent children. Could our next neighbor be elderly and deaf? I'm just saying that because old people are cute sometimes; they're easy to ignore if they're grouchy. Deaf because we are those neighbors, the ones with the barking dogs. Plus, Ayla and I speak a little sign language, so we could keep it simple. Our conversation would go like this:
Me: "Hello, how are you?"
Neighbor: "Good, thank you."
Me: (smiles awkwardly)
Ayla: "Milk. More. Eat. Please."
Neighbor: (signs something I obviously do not understand)
Ayla: (hits her diaper and starts verbally saying "Pee pee, ca-ca."
Me: (waves goodbye awkwardly)
Okay...so maybe it wouldn't go so well.
SuperMoms out there, I salute you. The next time you see me, I might just be wearing makeup AND clean clothes.
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