Mama Speaks

I want another baby someday, but I'm afraid. Truly.  I so very much want to have another sweet little one, another pregnancy (for all its ups and downs), and I want A to be a big sister. But I'm afraid.  I am afraid of those moments when I feel like I've gone "'round the bend" as Alice would say (we've been watching the Tim Burton version daily, sometimes more than once).  The things I've been through paralyze me with fear of having another--the stresses, the worries and sleeplessness, the anxiety and classic post-partum OCD thoughts... Those things made me feel, and still do at times, like a failure of a mother. But you know what?  I am a good mom.  I might even venture out there to say I'm a great mom.  There are certainly things I'd do differently and areas I still want to work on presently, but I feel like someday, when Ayes is all grown up, she will look back and know I did the best I could for her.  I hope that she will feel tha...

"You're right. You are absolutely right. Cars are not safe for children. Ok, neither are bookcases or squirrels, strong winds, people who sneeze. They're all going to get your baby. But honey you don't feel this was because you were in an accident. You feel this way because you are a parent." -Dr. Miranda Bailey, Grey's Anatomy Tonight on Grey's, Callie freaked out when it was time for her and baby Sofia to go home.  She said it wasn't safe for her out there.  That the last time she was in a car (in utero) they were both almost killed. (Maybe someone should tell Callie about how rear facing is 5 times safer!)  To which Dr. Bailey replied with the quote listed above. What parent doesn't feel that way?  In a world of natural disasters, predators, household dangers, and other various scary things, how couldn't you? As a mom, I have experienced many worries. I've worried about if Ayes is eating enough. I've worried about if I might...