Mama Speaks

As a teacher, one thing I have discovered that has made my relationship with my students better and more productive is to tell them my pet peeves.  Each teacher (read: person) is so different, so best to let my kiddos know the things that drive me bonkers.  The students respond well and understand because they, too, have pet peeves of their own. Recently, I read an article online or in a magazine (or God knows where) about taking care of ourselves the way we take care of our toddlers.  For example, I know if Ayla hasn't had a good nap, she's likely to have a meltdown.  For many of us, we have our own needs that must be met before we are worth two poops to anyone else.  Naps, a close watch on our blood sugar, a moment to unwind...whatever. Here are some of my pet peeves... 1. People who type in all caps, in text lingo, or with words such as "dat, grl, whatvr, imna."  It just hurts my brain and pisses me off to be frank.  I know too many intelligent...

This afternoon, Ayla and I met up with our good friends Amanda, Ivan, and Ezra.  The really cool thing about Ezra is that he's just a couple weeks younger than Ayla.  I still remember the day I got a Facebook IM from Amanda telling me that she was also pregnant and also due in June (my due date was June 2).  Amanda and I met through a mutual friend, Brandy, whom I worked with at Starbucks.   Our friendship blossomed as we attended a church group called Immersed together.  I always thought she was pretty awesome, and even though she's younger than me, I always looked up to her in many ways. As life and time would have it, we eventually grew apart.  She moved up North with her husband, as he pursued further education.  Well, I guess God works in funny ways for both of us to end up pregnant at the same time.  Of course, her pregnancy was planned and mine wasn't, but there was no mistake.  These babies were the perfect gift for each of our...

I was recently looking at my blog stats, and to this day Dirty Laundry remains my most popular blog post.  I was wondering what about it made it so interesting to readers.  I finally decided it must be that I was willing to put it out there-the gritty, ugly truth.  Like most people, I like to keep those kind of unspeakable things to myself, but I don't know what purpose it serves except for upholding an image-who or what people think I am.  People should care about me, flaws, catastrophic mistakes, and all.  The struggles I've faced and the errors I've made only make me human, no more or no less than who I really am. More often than not, I think that we don't like admitting our own misguided choices because we still don't forgive ourselves for them.  We say we've moved on, but I think many of us carry those things around with us.  Perhaps by airing our dirty laundry, we can move on. All of these mistakes are years and years and years past, but I st...

Yesterday, as I was headed to the veterinarian with my diarrhea-vomiting dog, I was talking with my mom on the phone.  She proceeded to tell me that her good friend Z (not her real name) had called in tears, telling my mom that she had lost her brother earlier that morning.  He had just come to visit with her earlier in the month.  He suffered a heart attack, but he came out of the surgery and appeared to be making a recovery.  Then, he coded and died. My mom has often told me about the strength, guts, and kindness that Z has had throughout her life, even through the hardest of times.  I've actually met Z and her daughter, and they are just the loveliest people.  Sadly, Z lost her job (where my mom used to work with her) earlier this year.  She didn't deserve to lose her job-she got laid off not based on her work or years in the company.  She lost her job because she (much like myself) stands up and says something when she sees that things are n...

A determination.  Although resolution is described as a noun, I find it to be more of a verb because no matter what you resolve to do, the first step is taking action. I resolve to do many things throughout the year, however I am not among the many who are against new year's resolutions.  In fact, I like the chance to reflect and plan ahead.  I am a to-do list maker. For 2011, I resolve... 1. To adopt a livable eating and exercise habit.  I had one in my old life, the one before I was a mom and a full-time teacher, and now it is time for find a new one. 2. Begin serving my purpose.  I have many passions and talents, and I'd like my life to use those talents including the kind of work I do.  I know I am not fulfilling my purpose.  I really enjoy teaching, but I know it isn't my final destination.  I need to live a passionate life. 3. Declutter.  Get rid of the mess and muss and stick to the basics.  I am well on my way with my dec...

I have too much stuff.  My house has stuff here, there, everywhere.  I want to take all of it and put it in a garbage bag and call it a day.  My new couch is piled with stuff, our end tables, our entertainment shelving unit.  The totes full of Christmas stuff are piled high.  Our eckbunk (German corner table/bench) is covered in crap half the time.  Mail-bills and junk.  Clothes-clean and dirty.  Shoes, toys, work stuff.  Dust bunnies.  It is seriously driving me crazy. When we bought this house, I thought of all the room we'd have.  Our office is bursting at the seams with boxes from Brandon's past and some things from mine as well.  Thank God for my mom who hasn't thrown all my stuff away in my old bedroom at home.  I don't know where I can put it! My closet is a graveyard for clothes I'll never wear again due to size or fashion issues. Pregnancy has rendered my shoe collection useless, now a half size too small. ...

Ayla Marley has started showing me how she folds her hands so sweetly and says "amen."  Her Aunt Danni (who watches her) says a blessing over the food before the kiddos eat.  It is so sweet, so precious, so wonderful to see her do that. I feel like I let her down.  Isn't a mother supposed to teach her daughter how to pray? Religion.  Faith.  God. I grew up talking about God and having faith.  I went through changes and doubts in my faith, especially when I got sick.  I studied different religions in college.  My own faith/religion/etc. has changed so much over the years.  At times, I've been very conservative and close-minded to very liberal and reckless.  The pendulum has swung both ways-to each extreme and in the middle at times. Now, I'm not sure what I can say about my faith.  I believe in God, and I believe Jesus is our savior.  However, I have so many questions.  I find myself having a lot of problems with r...