Mama Speaks

"Get that baby on a schedule."   "Don't hold the baby too much, they will depend on it for comfort." "They have to learn to soothe themselves." "Just put the baby on her tummy, she'll sleep better." "Rice cereal at night will fill her belly so she won't wake up." "Cut out those night feedings or they'll just wake you up to nurse [for fun, not nourishment]." Baby sleep solutions.  Everybody has one, and I don't agree with any of the above.  So, if that's not going to work for you, you might as well stop reading here. I had someone I know and respect suggest to me Babywise .  Used by over 1 million parents worldwide.  That must mean it is developmentally appropriate, right?  Written by M.D.'s.  Must be reliable information, right?  (Right...because all doctors are to be trusted).   NO. Babywise is based on a strict feeding schedule. An example would be: 6 am, 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, m...

Childcare.  It is probably one of the most difficult decisions a family has to make when there is no option (or desire, in some cases) to be a stay-at-home-mom or dad(SAHM/SAHD).  Go through 9 long months of pregnancy, a number of hours or days in labor and pushing (or going through major abdominal surgery aka c-section...which is often unnecessary-but that's another post, another day) to bring a precious baby into this world.  Then, spend the next 6 weeks sleepless, attempting to feed and soothe a crying baby, and try to manage to shower a few times and maybe choke down a brownie or two.  Oh wait, what now?  That's right, you get to go back to work before you've even fully recovered or established solid breastfeeding (again, another blog, another day). And you have to leave your baby with someone else.  Sometimes, we are lucky enough to have someone in our life that we love and trust that can care for our precious lil bitty.  In my case, I was luck...

So lately, I've been doing some thinking about gender roles.  You know, when you find out you're having a girl and all of a sudden your house is oozing pink out of every crevice?  Or if you're having a boy, only to find that your choices for clothing include: balls (like they don't have a lifetime to obsess about balls!), dinosaurs, and puppies. I read an article today talking about the uproar caused by J. Crew when they mailed a flyer with a picture of a little boy getting his toenails painted pink (at his request) by his mother.  Oh no!  Gasp!  Doesn't that mother know she's turning her son into a homo by doing that?  Please.  (I'm not going to get started on the issue of homosexuality because I know and love many people who are gay and didn't make that "choice"...)   Who cares if that little boy wants to wear toenail polish?  Will my daughter become a lesbian or become "gender confused" (as some suggest of the J. Crew ad) due ...

There are so many wonderful products and websites that I love, recommend, and use frequently.  I love them all so much, I want to share them with everyone I know! 1.  Bio Oil was my lifesaver after having A.  My mom never got stretch marks, so I figured I'd get her good genetics (or luck). Now some people still swear by cocoa butter on the belly to avoid stretch marks, but many studies say that is a  myth .  I didn't have any stretch marks all pregnancy long until the final month when BAM-a slew of them appeared on the underside of my belly.  What pregnant woman can even see the underside of her belly?!  As luck would have it, I stumbled upon an ad for Bio Oil, so when I later saw it at Walmart, I decided to give it a try.  I also used Target's Up & Up knock off of Mederma.  I'm telling you though, the Bio Oil worked magic, and it was fast! 2. We absolutely adore Bird's Eye steam fresh veggies .  As some people know, canned pro...

Shortly after Ayla was born, people began making a point of telling me, "Oh, she looks just like Brandon."   (She didn't.  She actually looked Asian the day she was born.) "Oh, she has Brandon's _____ (nose, smile, chin, eyebrows, earlobes)!" I have to admit, this annoyed the crap out of me.  It still does sometimes, actually.  I usually just agree and say, "Hey, I was there, too!" or "At least she has my stunning personality." I gave birth to a 8 lb. 10 oz. baby girl.  I am a 5 foot tall woman.  I felt like I deserved a little credit.  It almost felt to me like I spent 9 months cooking my little sweet pea, then I got to have my body forever changed giving birth to her.  My tailbone still hurts, for Pete's sake. Of course, my family and some friends say they see the resemblance between her and I.  When I look at baby photos from my siblings and I, I see us in her.  When I look at Brandon's baby pictures, I see him as well....

Life can be separated into two phases: before baby and after baby. When I became a mom, I feel like I started a whole new life... Before baby...I slept in on weekends.  I napped often. After baby...sleeping in consists of that extra hour A sleeps compared to the work week (during which we have to wake her up). Before baby...I loved buying myself cute new shoes, just for fun. After baby...my feet grew 1/2 a size, rendering my cute shoe collection useless.  (By the way, aside from the crocs I bought several months back, I just bought my first pair of cute sandals since having A.  That is a LONG time to go without wearing cute shoes...) Before baby...I loved going out all the time with my friends. After baby...I feel lucky to get to talk to my friends and see them once every couple of months. Before baby...I enjoyed going to the gym and working out for hours on end. After baby...I wish I could figure out how to afford the gym and how to find the time for it...

I lay in bed last night, unable to sleep due to fact that my pooch, Boo, was hogging all the bedspace between B & I.  I thought about getting out of bed to come write this blog that came to mind in those sleepless moments, but I decided to finally nudge Boo so I could get some zzz's. I hope that Ayla has a difference experience of "friendship" than I did for most of my  childhood and teenage years.  Its not that I didn't have any friends or that my friends were bad, it's just that the number of negative and traumatic experiences I had far outweigh the good. When I was in elementary school, I was tormented and teased about everything from my red hair and fair skin to my "nerdiness."  I am not sure how or why I was such an easy target.  I was a really sweet, nice girl who would play with anyone and help anyone, but it just made me a target for hate-filled attacks.  By 5th grade, I was the favorite target for a classmate, who did everything from pr...