???
Today my students asked me how Earth was created and who the first person on Earth was. They, in fact, wanted to ask me question after question to which I did not have the answer. I finally asked, "Does anyone have a question I can answer?" What I did do was applaud their curiosity and encourage them to do some research (vocab word this week) and grow up to be the kind of people that find the answers to those questions.
I had a former student, a now 5th grader, come to visit me today. I don't know what it is that I did right as his teacher, but he has such great respect for me. He dropped in to say hello and tell me that my costume (yesterday was Make Believe Monday for National Literacy Week) was the best. :) To this day, he visits me and calls me Ms. G (which only certain students do). His mother had a baby the same year I had him as a student, which is also the school year I conceived Ayla. He always looked out for me, telling the other kids to pick up things and treat me with care because he learned from his father that that is how you treat pregnant ladies. What a sweet, sweet child, with a wonderful family that has what really matters: motivation for their children, kindness, and respect. Those things mean so much, especially in today's society.
I keep thinking about purpose lately. I started this blog talking about purpose, but I deleted it all. Somehow, I feel like if I talk about fulfilling a purpose I am invalidating what I am doing now or making my career seem like it is not "good enough" for me. That certainly isn't either of those things. There isn't even a way to put into words what it is I feel...
I feel like there is something I am supposed to do. I feel like my life has a purpose. Being a mom, a (soon) wife, and a teacher are all purposes that have been set before me. Is it wrong to have this constant feeling that I am not yet done? Am I going through a late-20s crisis (eek)? It isn't that I think about this all the time, but it is a thought that keeps coming back like a boomerang in the wind. Just as I think those things, there is also the voice that squashes that urge to fulfill a purpose. A voice saying that what do I have to offer that is absolutely unique enough and important enough to matter. And I don't have the answer to that challenge/inner critic. I know I'm not the only one that thinks like this or wonders these things, yet I don't overhear people having these conversations or making these assertions. I guess, like my students, I am full of questions I cannot answer.
So for now, I will do my best to do the best I can do on the path I am traveling. And I imagine I will learn the things I need to along the way to where ever it is that I am going.
I had a former student, a now 5th grader, come to visit me today. I don't know what it is that I did right as his teacher, but he has such great respect for me. He dropped in to say hello and tell me that my costume (yesterday was Make Believe Monday for National Literacy Week) was the best. :) To this day, he visits me and calls me Ms. G (which only certain students do). His mother had a baby the same year I had him as a student, which is also the school year I conceived Ayla. He always looked out for me, telling the other kids to pick up things and treat me with care because he learned from his father that that is how you treat pregnant ladies. What a sweet, sweet child, with a wonderful family that has what really matters: motivation for their children, kindness, and respect. Those things mean so much, especially in today's society.
I keep thinking about purpose lately. I started this blog talking about purpose, but I deleted it all. Somehow, I feel like if I talk about fulfilling a purpose I am invalidating what I am doing now or making my career seem like it is not "good enough" for me. That certainly isn't either of those things. There isn't even a way to put into words what it is I feel...
I feel like there is something I am supposed to do. I feel like my life has a purpose. Being a mom, a (soon) wife, and a teacher are all purposes that have been set before me. Is it wrong to have this constant feeling that I am not yet done? Am I going through a late-20s crisis (eek)? It isn't that I think about this all the time, but it is a thought that keeps coming back like a boomerang in the wind. Just as I think those things, there is also the voice that squashes that urge to fulfill a purpose. A voice saying that what do I have to offer that is absolutely unique enough and important enough to matter. And I don't have the answer to that challenge/inner critic. I know I'm not the only one that thinks like this or wonders these things, yet I don't overhear people having these conversations or making these assertions. I guess, like my students, I am full of questions I cannot answer.
So for now, I will do my best to do the best I can do on the path I am traveling. And I imagine I will learn the things I need to along the way to where ever it is that I am going.
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