Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'...

I wish I could enjoy a nice pedicure...but my naked toes are a badge of motherhood and laziness.

I wish I could sleep in every day...but then I'd miss my happy, early bird baby girl.

I wish my bed was a California king instead of a full...but I'm glad to be next to Brandon. And Boo.  And Oscar. 


I wish my jeans were smaller...but my heart got bigger every day I grew Ayla in my belly.


I wish to never suffer a migraine again...but my I refuse to believe my suffering is without some bigger purpose.


I wish I knew my real purpose in life...but then I wouldn't have to work for it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Babies

I want another baby someday, but I'm afraid. Truly.  I so very much want to have another sweet little one, another pregnancy (for all its ups and downs), and I want A to be a big sister. But I'm afraid.  I am afraid of those moments when I feel like I've gone "'round the bend" as Alice would say (we've been watching the Tim Burton version daily, sometimes more than once).  The things I've been through paralyze me with fear of having another--the stresses, the worries and sleeplessness, the anxiety and classic post-partum OCD thoughts... Those things made me feel, and still do at times, like a failure of a mother. But you know what?  I am a good mom.  I might even venture out there to say I'm a great mom.  There are certainly things I'd do differently and areas I still want to work on presently, but I feel like someday, when Ayes is all grown up, she will look back and know I did the best I could for her.  I hope that she will feel tha...
Read more

Weighty

Image
My beautiful girl...and me, the me I can't stand looking at in the mirror. I hate being fat.  I hate it.  I didn't gain that much weight during my pregnancy, only 37 pounds.  Now, while I realize it is suggested to gain only 15-25, I know MANY women who have told me they gained 50, 60, 70, 80 pounds during their pregnancy.  Yet I find myself, today, weighing 3-4 pounds more than when I left the hospital...only 18-20 pounds lighter than I was the last time I got weighed before Ayla was born. Ick Being this heavy is ruining my life in a number of ways.  I don't mean to say my life is over or ruined because I'm overweight (technically obese according to my BMI), but it is having so many negative effects on my life.   Love the belly I can't buy clothes.  I've tried. Nothing fits, even when I try other sizes.  It is like my body was built all wrong, then add the weight on top of it...screwed. In the last 2 years, I've purchased very few it...
Read more

Neglecting Mama

I am all about being pro-active about one's health.  I read all kinds of news articles, I watch documentaries, and I am trying to make conscious efforts to improve the quality of my family's life by the things we eat, the things we clean our homes and bodies with, and how we store our food.  We avoid HFCS, cellulose, and now canola oil.  We have slowly transitioned from our old plastic storage containers for leftovers to only using pyrex glass containers.  Ayla doesn't drink juice anymore because of arsenic and all the other garbage in juice, even the organic brand that we'd switched to after deciding to no longer purchase Juicy Juice due to our Nestle boycott . But I must admit I am neglecting to take care of an issue that has been going on for over 4 months. In August, I made an appointment with a new doctor.  I don't have a primary care physician, and I needed one.  To be honest, if I hadn't been at my wits end in need of a possible migraine medi...
Read more