Day 11: Back and angry
So much for 30 consecutive days of blogging. I took a couple days to celebrate hub's birthday, but I'm back. In my defense, I've blogged more this month than in the last few months combined.
Yesterday, we watched a presentation by a charitable organization that we are required to watch each year. I'm not sure how it is even allowable to require us to watch such a presentation, but I show up every year and sit through it.
Every year, I get angrier and more bitter. Neither of which I enjoy feeling.
Don't get me wrong-I am actually a quite charitable person and donate or give of myself as much (or even more) than I can. At one point, I was able to donate a sizable amount of money (for me) to a dear friend Jessica's wonderful non-profit called Beyond Measure Arts, which is an amazing, incredible, and worthy cause. I did it because I believe in the cause and because I believe in her mission. I've done a number of other things, and I am proud to say I love giving.
When I feel forced, its another story.
The presentation cited that 61% of people don't have 3 months salary saved in case of a major emergency. I am the 61%. The presentation focused on those who go hungry. While I am glad to say I am not starving, I am sad to say that there are times when I have no choice but to put groceries on my credit card or go to my mom's house to eat while we wait on our paychecks. I am unable to fully life the organic, non-processed lifestyle that I strive to achieve. I haven't had a pay raise my entire career, and while I am thankful for a job, I cannot keep going on that thankfulness alone. That thankfulness doesn't get rid of my debt and doesn't change my paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. Both hubs and I have taken on extra work, which means extra time away from our daughter and each other. It sucks, but we do what we have to do in order to give our daughter the best life we can.
No one wants to hear this, but it is the truth. Do I wish I felt liberated and able to commit a portion of every paycheck to a cause of my choice? Absolutely! I wish I was a millionaire so I could give and give and give, so I could make as many lives around me easier and better.
But I can't.
It sucks. It sucks even more when every year, without fail, I must sit and listen to all the reasons I should give when I cannot anymore beyond what I already do.
Of course this will probably sound crass and harsh and anti-philanthropic of me, which is not the point. The point is that we do so much and give so much already above and beyond...we do more with less...we give our time, our resources, our hearts, and when we cannot open our pocketbooks, when we cannot declare a 3-month savings or debt-free lifestyle, please give us a break. Give us an option. Allow us to sit in and listen if we are able, but give us the option to pass if we are unable.
That is all I'm trying to say.
Yesterday, we watched a presentation by a charitable organization that we are required to watch each year. I'm not sure how it is even allowable to require us to watch such a presentation, but I show up every year and sit through it.
Every year, I get angrier and more bitter. Neither of which I enjoy feeling.
Don't get me wrong-I am actually a quite charitable person and donate or give of myself as much (or even more) than I can. At one point, I was able to donate a sizable amount of money (for me) to a dear friend Jessica's wonderful non-profit called Beyond Measure Arts, which is an amazing, incredible, and worthy cause. I did it because I believe in the cause and because I believe in her mission. I've done a number of other things, and I am proud to say I love giving.
When I feel forced, its another story.
The presentation cited that 61% of people don't have 3 months salary saved in case of a major emergency. I am the 61%. The presentation focused on those who go hungry. While I am glad to say I am not starving, I am sad to say that there are times when I have no choice but to put groceries on my credit card or go to my mom's house to eat while we wait on our paychecks. I am unable to fully life the organic, non-processed lifestyle that I strive to achieve. I haven't had a pay raise my entire career, and while I am thankful for a job, I cannot keep going on that thankfulness alone. That thankfulness doesn't get rid of my debt and doesn't change my paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle. Both hubs and I have taken on extra work, which means extra time away from our daughter and each other. It sucks, but we do what we have to do in order to give our daughter the best life we can.
No one wants to hear this, but it is the truth. Do I wish I felt liberated and able to commit a portion of every paycheck to a cause of my choice? Absolutely! I wish I was a millionaire so I could give and give and give, so I could make as many lives around me easier and better.
But I can't.
It sucks. It sucks even more when every year, without fail, I must sit and listen to all the reasons I should give when I cannot anymore beyond what I already do.
Of course this will probably sound crass and harsh and anti-philanthropic of me, which is not the point. The point is that we do so much and give so much already above and beyond...we do more with less...we give our time, our resources, our hearts, and when we cannot open our pocketbooks, when we cannot declare a 3-month savings or debt-free lifestyle, please give us a break. Give us an option. Allow us to sit in and listen if we are able, but give us the option to pass if we are unable.
That is all I'm trying to say.
I agree with you Amber. I am in the same situation as you. I've sat through this presentation every year for 8 years. I also get frustrated that almost every time I go to Publix or Wal-Mart, there are kids and adults out front asking for a donation. I feel horrible if I don't give something, but it becomes too much when it's all the time. Most of the time I don't carry cash on me, which is another problem. It would be nice to run my errands without having to be guilted in to giving money that we don't really have.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jamie. I hate even saying that out "loud" because I think it sounds greedy and think that folks will judge me for what I *DO* have, but it hurts. It hurts to give and give and have more and more expected while being unable to provide in the way that you'd like to. Half the time I don't go out with friends because sometimes even a simple lunch out is out of my budget. <3 ya girl!
ReplyDeleteI totally get this Amber. And I feel quite similarly. It stinks that we have to feel this way, especially when we are making so many sacrifices. It's so frustrating. I too am thankful for what I have and the opportunities I've been given. But I also feel taken advantage of in a way, as we are made to believe that student loans are "an investment in the future," "good debt" even, when in reality they are debilitating and we will never make enough to pay for our six figures of loan debt. Sure we've managed to become consumer debt free, which is a wonderful gift, but these student loans will get the best of us and it's frightening to think about.
ReplyDeleteLove you lady! And thanks for your transparency, it is wonderfully inspiring.