Dreams...

This evening, I attended a 2 hour presentation for work, so needless to say, I was excited to get home, change into some awesome jeggings, and grab a bite to eat with my lovely, encouraging, supportive future hubby Brandon. 
We got into a long discussion over dinner about fulfilling a purpose for a living.  
It came down to this.  He asked me, "What do you love to do?  What do you enjoy?"

I love writing my blog, more than I love doing most things.  I love learning something new and useful and sharing it with people.

He also asked me if I had free time and no one was around, what I would like to do.
My first thought was, "Grab a magazine."

I love books, but I really, really, really love magazines.  I can read an entire magazine, cover-to-cover, in about 25 minutes.  All the snippets of information in one shiny little package-what's not to love?

Wouldn't it be amazing to write for a magazine?  Or even better, to be an editor of a magazine?  Isn't it sad that I think those goals are lofty...unachievable...and impractical?

Brandon says I underestimate myself.  Maybe I do.  I guess I just don't feel like there is anything special about what I do or say that would make me the right candidate for a job like that.  Or for any "dream" job I might come up with.  Dreams don't pay the bills, do they?  I actually said to him tonight, "I'm not 16 anymore."

Perhaps the better question is, when did it become an absurdity for a 27-year-old intelligent, strong woman (which logically I know I am but in reality don't feel like most of the time) to dream and want and work for something...something that just feels so right.  When?

At what point in my life...in my experience...did I get to the point where I feel like I just don't do anything well?  Who gave me that message and why did I believe them?  It sometimes hurts to feel like "less than a great _______" (fill-in-the-blank with any word...blogger, mommy, teacher, friend, etc, etc, etc.)

To my readers, my question is this...
What dreams do you have?  What dreams have you given up on because they seem too lofty, too impractical, or that you're just too afraid to follow?  Or what dreams did you chase and catch?  Maybe I need a Cinderella story...(except in this case I have the prince, just not the pumpkin-turned-coach)

Comments

  1. AmandaMay 3, 2011 at 7:17 PM

    Ah, you know mine. PhD, diaper/doula shop-ness...I just need to jump in with both feet and do something. And you do too. You're totally capable, way more than capable. Maybe we could keep doing things together, be like cheerleaders and drill sargents and make each other live up to what we really want to do and again are capable of doing. Haha. Love.

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