The days of my life before motherhood seem so far away, yet I remember.
I remember when I felt fat and hideous wearing my size 8s. How I would LOVE to be that "fat" again.
Another thing I remember is my expansive underwear collection, most of which consisted of thongs. In fact, my only other underwear were my "period underwear." C'mon ladies, you know you have a pair or two. The ones that don't make an appearance in rotation until that special time of the month comes around. The ones you wear because you don't care what Mother Nature does to them. Period underwear exist in the last phase of undies before they go to retirement at the county dump.
Anyway, I remember having conversations with some people (kept anonymous for their privacy) about my "gross thongs."
"How can they be comfortable?"
"Why even wear them?"
Of course, I defended my butt floss adamantly.
"I don't even notice them."
"I don't like panty lines."
And of course...
"I'm not wearing granny panties like YOU!"
Well, let me tell you something. Getting pregnant was the beginning of the death of my underwear collection. As soon as that baby bump appeared, the desire (and ability) to wear my little thongs disappeared. In fact, I had to buy bigger undies, which was totally annoying. I had these great preggo undies that fit my ever growing Buddha belly but sagged off my ass. Nice. Let me tell you how irritating that was-VERY!
Then of course, comes that lovely period post-partum where you get the wear the mesh undies that the hospital gives you to go with your phone book sized pads. By the way, I thought both the phone book pad and the mesh undies were GENIUS! I proclaimed that I needed them for all my periods until menopause do us part. (I still have the mesh undies in my underwear drawer...I haven't worn them since, but I've been tempted!)
That brings us to...now. Now, I live in underwear that I once deemed "granny-like" or only appropriate for Aunt Flow's monthly visit.
I don't know. I just do. Maybe those thongs weren't as comfortable as I thought (actually, that's not true, I didn't make it a habit of wearing uncomfy undies). Or maybe I don't feel sexy like I used to. Maybe I just don't care. I mean, the truth is that any time a man gets to take of your underthings, he's probably looking forward to what's about to happen versus what he's throwing on the floor, right?
Sure, there are probably some moms out there right now shaking their heads in shame at me. But I think there are probably quite a few of you out there 'amen'-ing and 'heck yeah'-ing me.
Are you nodding? Or are you shaking, disapprovingly?