Another thought was to write about my lack of motivation and overall stagnation these days. My motivation level is low, and I'm pretty much just coasting along in so many ways.
Perhaps I could write a little bit about what it is like to be a multifaceted individual (aren't we all?) that can put on a good, strong front, but also go through the battles and challenges of depression, low self-esteem, or life's general ups and downs. Just seemed...boring.
Something else that has been going on lately is that I've felt very detached from a social scene and in my friendships. Right now I'm going through some challenges with someone who I love very much, and it really fills me with sadness. Friendship is such a gift, and I've been lucky to build many terrific friendships, especially in the 8 years that I've been living in Florida. I miss my friends. The time I have to invest in my friendships is stretched thin, and there are so many things I am missing. It is like a void that I fill with twizzlers and other miniature Halloween candy. Frankly, it just sucks.
There is no real point to this blog. There are so many things on my mind these days. I want to feel motivated, connected, involved, and engaged (hardy har har) in my own life and experiences. Maybe Winter is getting to me.
On another note, I have decided to end this blog on a high note. Since I didn't participate in the infamous 30 days of thankful on FB, I am going to do it here, in one fell swoop.
I am thankful for...
- Our friends and family who are such a critical part of Ayla's childhood. It takes a village...
- Humor. I take things too hard sometimes, but having humor has helped!
- My dogs, who love me no matter how grouchy I can be.
- My God-given abilities. It's nice to have gifts.
- Western and Eastern medicine. I've benefited from both an epidural and acupuncture.
- The internet. It just makes life so much easier.
- Good books. I love to get lost in a book, or even better, a series.
- Electricity and running water. Really.
- A salary that we manage to make ends meet with.
- Grace, forgiveness, and understanding.
- Cell phones.
- Oster's immersion blender. It was a lifesaver when I made Ayla's baby food.
- Having a fiance' that I will get to call my husband and share my life with.
- Naps. I love naps so friggin' much!
- My childhood. I am so grateful that it shaped my life for the best.
- A safe vehicle. After driving an old car for years, it is nice to have a car that will last for the long haul.
- Music. Every emotion and memory can be tied to a song.
- Magazines. I love magazines almost as much as books. When I have no time to read, I love magazines more!
- Awesome coworkers that make work infinitely better.
- Sunny days and shorts weather in November.
- The right to vote.
- I get to be a mom. I will never be the same again.
- Long, hot baths (so not eco-friendly, but I indulge).
- The blanket my mom got me when I was a baby. Still love it. Always will (if Ayla doesn't permanently steal it from me).
- Better health in my present than I've had for most of my past life.
- People that I love. My parents, my family, my best friend, all of my wonderful friends. My family goes beyond bloodlines.
- Did I say chocolate yet?