"Money, it's a crime...Share it fairly, but don't take a slice of my pie ..."
Money.
For most people, the subject of money is very touchy, very private, and very stressful. Last night, I was watching Downsized on WE (television for women). The gist of the show is a blended family with a total of 9 people, the father's construction company went bankrupt, and the mom is a teacher. This mother never had to want for anything as a child, and she spent most of the episode beside herself for not being able to do the same for her kids. She also was sneaking Starbucks coffees and hiding her trash, even after meeting with a financial adviser.
Lately, I've spent a lot of time thinking about money. It seems like having two college-educated adults in the household should somehow equate to not feeling as though you're drowning in financial hardship, but it doesn't. Let me preface this whole post by saying that I know a lot of my friends are struggling even more than I am, so I am not trying to compare, but rather just share my honest experience.
We want to have a wedding, but practically everyone we've talked to has scared us with the figures they are throwing at us. Luckily, I have some money saving ideas that I hope will bring the cost down. The one place I am not willing to sacrifice is in the total number of guests I'm inviting. There are a lot of people I want to invite still, but I can't. The majority of our list are family members, including extended family. We have some close friends on the list, and my hope is that the people that were not invited understand that we still love them lots and that they aren't any less important to us.
In my opinion, we live a pretty comfortable, yet modest lifestyle. Our house is old and has lots of repairs to be made, including flooring in our kitchen (since it was left unfinished) and our disastrous yard. There isn't a sprinkler system, and even if there was, I don't think we could afford it. So our backyard is a sand-bur ridden, green weedy sandpit. I wish that we could fix our yard because I would love for Ayla to be able to just run around and have fun out back. Put that on our list of "wishes." We also need a new fence desperately, as it is falling apart a little more each day; it was a piece of work from the time we bought the house. Brandon replaces slats once or twice every couple months.
Lucky for us, we have a house. We have the luxury and fortune of being in a place we can call our own. We are able to make our mortgage payments each month and keep a stable home for our family.
We each have cars that run well, but I won't be ashamed to admit that when I am out from under my car payment, I will be so thankful and never buy a brand new car again. At the time I was buying a car, I was just starting to date Brandon and still living at home, rent-free thanks to my awesome parents who wanted to give that one thing to us, as they have also worked hard to make ends meet. Do I regret buying my Honda Pilot new? No. I feel extremely safe in it, even after having been rear-ended 6 months after I bought it. Our entire family has gotten so much use out of it. My brother, Denny, has taken it to Tampa for a bowling tournament, where my car acquired an ugly scrape on my driver's door handle. We've taken it to Sea World, to Amway to see Rascal Flatts...to see Elton John and Billy Joel. The Pilot has taken us to see the Eagles. It has taken us to Iowa to say goodbye to my dying grandfather. Ayla came home in that car, and our future child(ren) will come home in it, too. However, it is personally my biggest expense between the actual car payment (which I am so glad I was able to re-finance), the insurance, and the gas cost. My maintenance cost is minimal, thanks to my car being only 2 years old, but when it comes time to replace my tires, I will be crying for sure.
The other debt that I am crushed under the weight of is the amount of money I still owe the hospital for having Ayla. I pay a little at a time, but 15% of a $20,000+ bill is still a lot. Of course, some people say I should go with an HMO, but I know the ugly, dirty side of HMO business. Not to mention, when you have any previous health problems, an HMO is a death wish. I guess I know too much to just take the easy way out and accept the lower cost of an HMO with its select doctors.
The reality of our situation is that we make it paycheck to paycheck. It isn't ideal, and it isn't how I want things to be. However, it is what it is right now. I know I'm not the only one out there facing this reality either. I'm not ungrateful; I know we are blessed to both have jobs. Things could be a lot worse. It just seems like it shouldn't have to be this way. My paycheck should not be under $1000 after the insurance cost for Ayla and I. It really shouldn't. No family should have to choose between gas and groceries, yet we find a way to scrape enough together to make it just one more day til payday. Thankfully, we save a lot with couponing, which helps soften the blow of the sheer expense of groceries.
Many families I know are stuck in the in between place. The working poor. I watched a show on Oprah a couple years go addressing this issue. Basically, on paper you make too much money for any kind of relief, but in reality you don't make enough to get by. Something is wrong with this. There is something wrong with the filthy rich in our country getting more breaks than the people who need it. Again, I'm not trying to start a debate or open a political can of worms. I am Democratic. I don't view socialism as modern communism. If I were rich beyond my need, I know I would have no problem with giving back. In fact, I know many working folks feel the same. The last I read, working low-to-middle class citizens contribute a higher percent of their incomes to charity than people who can actually afford it.
Something just isn't right. I shouldn't have to debate between gas and groceries. No one should.
For most people, the subject of money is very touchy, very private, and very stressful. Last night, I was watching Downsized on WE (television for women). The gist of the show is a blended family with a total of 9 people, the father's construction company went bankrupt, and the mom is a teacher. This mother never had to want for anything as a child, and she spent most of the episode beside herself for not being able to do the same for her kids. She also was sneaking Starbucks coffees and hiding her trash, even after meeting with a financial adviser.
Lately, I've spent a lot of time thinking about money. It seems like having two college-educated adults in the household should somehow equate to not feeling as though you're drowning in financial hardship, but it doesn't. Let me preface this whole post by saying that I know a lot of my friends are struggling even more than I am, so I am not trying to compare, but rather just share my honest experience.
We want to have a wedding, but practically everyone we've talked to has scared us with the figures they are throwing at us. Luckily, I have some money saving ideas that I hope will bring the cost down. The one place I am not willing to sacrifice is in the total number of guests I'm inviting. There are a lot of people I want to invite still, but I can't. The majority of our list are family members, including extended family. We have some close friends on the list, and my hope is that the people that were not invited understand that we still love them lots and that they aren't any less important to us.
In my opinion, we live a pretty comfortable, yet modest lifestyle. Our house is old and has lots of repairs to be made, including flooring in our kitchen (since it was left unfinished) and our disastrous yard. There isn't a sprinkler system, and even if there was, I don't think we could afford it. So our backyard is a sand-bur ridden, green weedy sandpit. I wish that we could fix our yard because I would love for Ayla to be able to just run around and have fun out back. Put that on our list of "wishes." We also need a new fence desperately, as it is falling apart a little more each day; it was a piece of work from the time we bought the house. Brandon replaces slats once or twice every couple months.
Lucky for us, we have a house. We have the luxury and fortune of being in a place we can call our own. We are able to make our mortgage payments each month and keep a stable home for our family.
We each have cars that run well, but I won't be ashamed to admit that when I am out from under my car payment, I will be so thankful and never buy a brand new car again. At the time I was buying a car, I was just starting to date Brandon and still living at home, rent-free thanks to my awesome parents who wanted to give that one thing to us, as they have also worked hard to make ends meet. Do I regret buying my Honda Pilot new? No. I feel extremely safe in it, even after having been rear-ended 6 months after I bought it. Our entire family has gotten so much use out of it. My brother, Denny, has taken it to Tampa for a bowling tournament, where my car acquired an ugly scrape on my driver's door handle. We've taken it to Sea World, to Amway to see Rascal Flatts...to see Elton John and Billy Joel. The Pilot has taken us to see the Eagles. It has taken us to Iowa to say goodbye to my dying grandfather. Ayla came home in that car, and our future child(ren) will come home in it, too. However, it is personally my biggest expense between the actual car payment (which I am so glad I was able to re-finance), the insurance, and the gas cost. My maintenance cost is minimal, thanks to my car being only 2 years old, but when it comes time to replace my tires, I will be crying for sure.
The other debt that I am crushed under the weight of is the amount of money I still owe the hospital for having Ayla. I pay a little at a time, but 15% of a $20,000+ bill is still a lot. Of course, some people say I should go with an HMO, but I know the ugly, dirty side of HMO business. Not to mention, when you have any previous health problems, an HMO is a death wish. I guess I know too much to just take the easy way out and accept the lower cost of an HMO with its select doctors.
The reality of our situation is that we make it paycheck to paycheck. It isn't ideal, and it isn't how I want things to be. However, it is what it is right now. I know I'm not the only one out there facing this reality either. I'm not ungrateful; I know we are blessed to both have jobs. Things could be a lot worse. It just seems like it shouldn't have to be this way. My paycheck should not be under $1000 after the insurance cost for Ayla and I. It really shouldn't. No family should have to choose between gas and groceries, yet we find a way to scrape enough together to make it just one more day til payday. Thankfully, we save a lot with couponing, which helps soften the blow of the sheer expense of groceries.
Many families I know are stuck in the in between place. The working poor. I watched a show on Oprah a couple years go addressing this issue. Basically, on paper you make too much money for any kind of relief, but in reality you don't make enough to get by. Something is wrong with this. There is something wrong with the filthy rich in our country getting more breaks than the people who need it. Again, I'm not trying to start a debate or open a political can of worms. I am Democratic. I don't view socialism as modern communism. If I were rich beyond my need, I know I would have no problem with giving back. In fact, I know many working folks feel the same. The last I read, working low-to-middle class citizens contribute a higher percent of their incomes to charity than people who can actually afford it.
Something just isn't right. I shouldn't have to debate between gas and groceries. No one should.
Well said Amber. I share many of the same thoughts. When you have to make a choice between working and not making ends meet or not working and collecting assistance you know the system is broken. I have several friends who've opted to stay at home because working simply doesn't make sense. And, quite frankly, we're almost in that situation. It really stinks. Ah, but don't worry, a flat tax should fix it.....haha...
ReplyDelete