Mama Speaks

"You're right. You are absolutely right. Cars are not safe for children. Ok, neither are bookcases or squirrels, strong winds, people who sneeze. They're all going to get your baby. But honey you don't feel this was because you were in an accident. You feel this way because you are a parent." -Dr. Miranda Bailey, Grey's Anatomy Tonight on Grey's, Callie freaked out when it was time for her and baby Sofia to go home.  She said it wasn't safe for her out there.  That the last time she was in a car (in utero) they were both almost killed. (Maybe someone should tell Callie about how rear facing is 5 times safer!)  To which Dr. Bailey replied with the quote listed above. What parent doesn't feel that way?  In a world of natural disasters, predators, household dangers, and other various scary things, how couldn't you? As a mom, I have experienced many worries. I've worried about if Ayes is eating enough. I've worried about if I might...

There are days like today when I feel like a bad mom.  I feel impatient.  I feel at wit's end.  Sometimes I feel like I've exhausted every option I can think of to change a situation whether it be Ayla running from me when we get home rather than come inside or how to get her to be still for 30 seconds to change her diaper. We had to run to Target for diapers this evening, which was an ordeal, let me tell ya.  First, Ayes leaked through a pair of stupid pull-up training pants (which she hadn't even been wearing for more than an hour!) and refused to hold still long enough to let me change her.  Kicking, rolling, standing and jumping, letting her whole body go limp.  Stern mommy voice.  Held her kicking feet.  She screamed, I screamed back.  She didn't like that, so she pinched my lips shut.  I tried not to laugh.  Finally made it through the whole getting changed bit. And then came time to go to the car.  She love to make ...

Surely by now, many of you have heard of 17-year-old Gaby Rodriguez's social experiment.  Long story short, the teen pretended to be pregnant.  Unbeknown to her classmates, teachers, and family (except her mom, boyfriend, and school principal) she was gauging the reaction and support (or lack of) she'd receive during what would is probably one of the most challenging times of any woman's (teenager or not) life.  She stood before her school and shared some of the rumors she'd heard about herself before she took off the baby belly and shared her presentation called "Stereotypes, rumors, and statistics." Wow.   People said the nastiest things about her.  She was left feeling "alone and ashamed."  Even with a high GPA, many felt as though she wouldn't finish school or go on to college. Way to go society. Here's the deal.  Some local high schools have daycare for teen moms.  People like to piss and moan about it, saying that it encourage...

My laundry pile never seems to get smaller.   The dishes pile up about as quickly as the laundry does.   My gas tank seems to be on the empty side more often than the full side.   I wish it was easy to keep my fridge full of fresh (local or organic if possible) produce and meat (which I can never find local and the organic is a joke from what I've been able to gather).   My master bathroom is in need of a good sweepin' and moppin', but that's not happening tonight.  Ayla's toys get strewn across the living room/dining room/house before I can pick them up.   I don't believe in making my bed--never have.  Since it is getting slept in just a handful of hours later, anyway.   My wardrobe should be overhauled, but I can't bring myself to get rid of anything because it is so sparse from lack of clothes that fit.   I am constantly thinking of ways to educate my daughter and make sure she is well-fe...

So apparently, Amy Chua wrote a memoir all about her role as a Tiger Mom .  At first, I was confused, with all the popular discussion of " cougars ."  Those two things, in fact, are not at all remotely related.   versus Cougar? Back to Amy, good ol' Amy.  Her parenting philosophy is, according to her, Chinese mothering.  This basically means that your child has to be the best at everything.  They must be 2 years ahead in math.  They must play an instrument, but only the piano or violin.  They must practice at least 3 hours a day.  It means there is no room for failure, and there certainly is no allowance for showing pride in your child's accomplishments.  No sleepovers, no TV, no choice in extracurriculars.  And no complaining.  And yet, according to her (and said children), her children are happy, well-adjusted, and grew up feeling loved. Enter Sloth Mama... Which then brings us to " sloth moms ," which I s...

You know you've seen her.  That mom .  You know, the one who is talking to her baby, having a full-on conversation about what she's buying while grocery shopping and talking about the big white truck while walking through the parking lot. Who does that?  I mean, they can't talk back anyway! I'll tell you who does that-a good parent does that.   For some parents, talking to their infants is instinctual, while for others it is painful and unnatural.  I, for one, felt extremely uncomfortable talking to the belly.  It just seemed unusual to me...like I didn't know what to say.  But the brilliant thing about talking to an infant is that you don't have to talk about anything in particular, you can talk about anything and everything. I won't get into a full-on research paper here with MLA citations and sources, but I know what I'm talking about.  After all, I am an early childhood major.  Brain development, learning through play (REAL learn...

Giving birth in a hospital isn't the experience many women, including myself, hoped it would be.  Many envision a different experience, based on the Mama's lovely tour prior to giving birth in said hospital.  Many of us walk away...disappointed.  Disenchanted.  Powerless. In November, my sister-in-law Jessica gave birth at home (HBAC-home birth after Cesarean)  to my beautiful new little niece E.  Jess had a less than great experience with the premature birth of her second child, my sweet nephew, W when he was born via c-section.  And of course I have to mention wonderful little N, my very first niece (no nephews before W too) who was born shortly after we moved to this beautiful sunny part of the country.  Back to Jess.  She worked closely with a midwife who monitored her nutrition and exercise closely so she wouldn't have baby #3 prematurely like she did with #2.  Jess didn't gain more than 25 lbs (if I'm not mistaken), and she was in...

# 7. The recommendation is to turn them around right at 1 year or 20 lbs. Wrong:  First of all, the old recommendation was to rear face until 1 year AND 20 lbs.  It was not meant as a deadline, but rather as a MINIMUM guideline.  Secondly, the recommendation has *officially* changed to age 2 , although it has been suggested and recommended for much longer than that, as many ERFing (extended rear-facing) moms know! #6. One mother states that she lives in Florida and it gets "intensely hot" in cars.   Yes, yes it does.  *Sidenote: The risk and fear of new parents leaving their babies in the car, especially in those early sleepless days or the days when routine changes is great.  So great, in fact, Brandon and I have a check-in system where when either one of us drops off or picks up Ayes, we call or text one another.  Every. Single. Time.  We still do, even though Ayla is nearly 2.   However, if my car is 100° when my child is rear-...

October 2008  November 2008 December 2008  25th birthday  Date unknown (but don't I look cute?)  January 2009  February 2009  March 2009 (with my sweet Boo girl)  March 20, 2009.  Photo by the talented Paul Carman  Buddha belly  We thought we loved her then .  April 2009  Later in April (yes, that's my belly button, but no, it didn't pop all the way out actually)  Date unknown (but isn't Molly cute?)  May 2009  A week or two later...  Henna belly done at 7 months by the amazing Jessica Martin.  Baby BBQ. April 2009.  Walking the beach, trying to get labor going just days before Ayla's birth.  A peaceful moment in between being told to do squats-ha!  Ayla's birthday!  Resting before the "big show." (Note baby all the way on my right side)  She was born just two hours later. Bye-bye belly, hello baby!