The Cost of Childcare
Childcare. It is probably one of the most difficult decisions a family has to make when there is no option (or desire, in some cases) to be a stay-at-home-mom or dad(SAHM/SAHD). Go through 9 long months of pregnancy, a number of hours or days in labor and pushing (or going through major abdominal surgery aka c-section...which is often unnecessary-but that's another post, another day) to bring a precious baby into this world. Then, spend the next 6 weeks sleepless, attempting to feed and soothe a crying baby, and try to manage to shower a few times and maybe choke down a brownie or two. Oh wait, what now? That's right, you get to go back to work before you've even fully recovered or established solid breastfeeding (again, another blog, another day).
And you have to leave your baby with someone else. Sometimes, we are lucky enough to have someone in our life that we love and trust that can care for our precious lil bitty. In my case, I was lucky enough to have Danni, my brother's fianceé to watch after my Ayla. When I went back to work, I didn't worry. I missed her, but I didn't worry for her well-being.
But sometimes, we don't get so lucky. Sometimes we have to trust a total stranger (or strangers) to care for our child. Some parents choose a childcare center. Others opt for an at-home provider. Many have to make choices based on financial ability and convenience, on some level at least. C'mon, you try to get to work on time with a newborn in the house!
It hurts me to know that not all childcare providers are providing quality care. As a friend said to me, "You can care FOR a someone, but not take care OF them in the right manner."
Horrified would be the word to best describe some of the situations and issues I've heard of friends encounter with their childcare experience. It shouldn't have to be that way.
One mama friend of mine described to me how her child went to daycare and didn't have a diaper change for hours and hours, even though by law they are supposed to be changed every few hours. She explained to me how she knew this. What is so disturbing about this is that not only are they breaking the law, but they are putting this little tender-skinned sweet cheeks at risk for rashes and other booty problems.
Another mommy friend of mine told me how her 9-month old daughter was crying at nap time, according to the sitter, only to be picked up 3 hours later (at the end of the nap) to discover the baby had been sitting in diarrhea. Those little sweet cheeks had painful bleeding and little holes burned into her skin from sitting in her shit for that long. She suffered for DAYS. What makes this even worse? The sitter made mention of how she thought it was weird the baby cried?
What. The. F? If a baby is known for napping well and not crying, wouldn't them crying be a SIGNAL to go get them? To check on them? Babies are very good at letting us know they need something. They may not be able to tell us what exactly that is, but it is up to us to figure out if it is a diaper change, a feeding, or just some human contact in order to be soothed. (Babies should never have to soothe themselves. Cry-it-out techniques are damaging and outdated).
Later on, my same wonderful mommy friend had the experience of going to pick up her baby, only to have the sitter act very sneaky when going to retrieve the baby from her nap. My friend said she felt a knot in her stomach immediately. The sitter then relayed the "exciting news" that little bitty had Mickey D's for lunch. A NINE MONTH OLD. Who the f*ck thinks that is a good idea? I mean, really? Sodium in infants can cause kidney damage and is linked to childhood diabetes. Obviously one occasion isn't going to do this, but why on earth would you ever feed an infant in your care something without first consulting with the parent?
The parents are still the parents, even when they are not there. My mommy friend makes a point to communicate her little one's dietary needs to the provider, who obviously feeds the children and is reimbursed most likely through a government funded childcare food program. I know all about this because my mom was an in-home state-licensed provider responsible for oodles of paperwork in order to get the funding to cover the amount of $ she spent on food for her clients' children. I can tell you that McDonald's is NOT an approved healthy and nutritious lunch.
Don't get me wrong, Ayla has had some fast food. But not often and not much. And not given to her by her sitter while we were away at work, trusting her to do a good job and honor and respect our wishes.
Poor baby had tummy trouble that weekend, and when mommy said something to the provider, the provider justified her choice. After all, it's "chicken and potatoes."
Really? I mean REALLY? When you are caught in a moment when you've clearly made #1-a bad choice and #2-clearly disregarded your employer's-the person paying YOUR salary-request, it is time to eat crow. A simple, "I'm sorry, I didn't even think to ask you. It won't happen again. I understand where you're coming from," would have gone a long way. It isn't like this provider gave the baby the stuffed bear instead of the stuffed baby doll. We are talking important nutritional content and developmentally inappropriate food.
This post isn't meant to upset or scare anyone, but these issues make it incredibly difficult to leave your child while you go to work. How can any parent focus on their work if their mind is constantly questioning what is going on while they're away from the most important little person/people in their life?
How do we avoid this? How do we make this better?
More rigorous home visits for in-home providers? More training opportunities? Perhaps in child care centers wages above $9 an hour would help. Perhaps better benefits. Just as I believe teachers are undervalued and underpaid, I believe that childcare workers are, too. They don't just sit around and play all day. Any SAHM will tell you that being at home all day is no easy task. Many working moms will tell you that working makes them a better parent and helps them maintain their sanity.
Children should not be such a low priority in society, but the truth is, they are often overlooked and left to slip between the cracks. Anyone who had read A Child Called It can attest to that. And don't say that was a different era because those kind of issues are occurring in our society right this minute.
What is the solution? How many families face these kind of issues but feel that they can't speak freely about the problems they've encountered?
How do we find a way to empower and enable providers to offer the best care possible?
And perhaps, more importantly, comes the question: What will it take for society to place more value on the importance of our CHILDREN?
And you have to leave your baby with someone else. Sometimes, we are lucky enough to have someone in our life that we love and trust that can care for our precious lil bitty. In my case, I was lucky enough to have Danni, my brother's fianceé to watch after my Ayla. When I went back to work, I didn't worry. I missed her, but I didn't worry for her well-being.
But sometimes, we don't get so lucky. Sometimes we have to trust a total stranger (or strangers) to care for our child. Some parents choose a childcare center. Others opt for an at-home provider. Many have to make choices based on financial ability and convenience, on some level at least. C'mon, you try to get to work on time with a newborn in the house!
It hurts me to know that not all childcare providers are providing quality care. As a friend said to me, "You can care FOR a someone, but not take care OF them in the right manner."
Horrified would be the word to best describe some of the situations and issues I've heard of friends encounter with their childcare experience. It shouldn't have to be that way.
One mama friend of mine described to me how her child went to daycare and didn't have a diaper change for hours and hours, even though by law they are supposed to be changed every few hours. She explained to me how she knew this. What is so disturbing about this is that not only are they breaking the law, but they are putting this little tender-skinned sweet cheeks at risk for rashes and other booty problems.
Another mommy friend of mine told me how her 9-month old daughter was crying at nap time, according to the sitter, only to be picked up 3 hours later (at the end of the nap) to discover the baby had been sitting in diarrhea. Those little sweet cheeks had painful bleeding and little holes burned into her skin from sitting in her shit for that long. She suffered for DAYS. What makes this even worse? The sitter made mention of how she thought it was weird the baby cried?
What. The. F? If a baby is known for napping well and not crying, wouldn't them crying be a SIGNAL to go get them? To check on them? Babies are very good at letting us know they need something. They may not be able to tell us what exactly that is, but it is up to us to figure out if it is a diaper change, a feeding, or just some human contact in order to be soothed. (Babies should never have to soothe themselves. Cry-it-out techniques are damaging and outdated).
Later on, my same wonderful mommy friend had the experience of going to pick up her baby, only to have the sitter act very sneaky when going to retrieve the baby from her nap. My friend said she felt a knot in her stomach immediately. The sitter then relayed the "exciting news" that little bitty had Mickey D's for lunch. A NINE MONTH OLD. Who the f*ck thinks that is a good idea? I mean, really? Sodium in infants can cause kidney damage and is linked to childhood diabetes. Obviously one occasion isn't going to do this, but why on earth would you ever feed an infant in your care something without first consulting with the parent?
The parents are still the parents, even when they are not there. My mommy friend makes a point to communicate her little one's dietary needs to the provider, who obviously feeds the children and is reimbursed most likely through a government funded childcare food program. I know all about this because my mom was an in-home state-licensed provider responsible for oodles of paperwork in order to get the funding to cover the amount of $ she spent on food for her clients' children. I can tell you that McDonald's is NOT an approved healthy and nutritious lunch.
Don't get me wrong, Ayla has had some fast food. But not often and not much. And not given to her by her sitter while we were away at work, trusting her to do a good job and honor and respect our wishes.
Poor baby had tummy trouble that weekend, and when mommy said something to the provider, the provider justified her choice. After all, it's "chicken and potatoes."
Really? I mean REALLY? When you are caught in a moment when you've clearly made #1-a bad choice and #2-clearly disregarded your employer's-the person paying YOUR salary-request, it is time to eat crow. A simple, "I'm sorry, I didn't even think to ask you. It won't happen again. I understand where you're coming from," would have gone a long way. It isn't like this provider gave the baby the stuffed bear instead of the stuffed baby doll. We are talking important nutritional content and developmentally inappropriate food.
This post isn't meant to upset or scare anyone, but these issues make it incredibly difficult to leave your child while you go to work. How can any parent focus on their work if their mind is constantly questioning what is going on while they're away from the most important little person/people in their life?
How do we avoid this? How do we make this better?
More rigorous home visits for in-home providers? More training opportunities? Perhaps in child care centers wages above $9 an hour would help. Perhaps better benefits. Just as I believe teachers are undervalued and underpaid, I believe that childcare workers are, too. They don't just sit around and play all day. Any SAHM will tell you that being at home all day is no easy task. Many working moms will tell you that working makes them a better parent and helps them maintain their sanity.
Children should not be such a low priority in society, but the truth is, they are often overlooked and left to slip between the cracks. Anyone who had read A Child Called It can attest to that. And don't say that was a different era because those kind of issues are occurring in our society right this minute.
What is the solution? How many families face these kind of issues but feel that they can't speak freely about the problems they've encountered?
How do we find a way to empower and enable providers to offer the best care possible?
And perhaps, more importantly, comes the question: What will it take for society to place more value on the importance of our CHILDREN?
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