Mama Speaks

1. I believe that there is no such thing as "spoiling" a child when it comes to affection.  Some people think that if you hold a baby too much, you're "spoiling" them.  "Don't hold that baby too much or else they will expect it all the time."  I'm not saying moms and dads cannot take a break when it is needed, but so many parents' attitudes come across as though their own child is inconveniencing them with needing to be held.  Children who form a solid attachment with parent(s) are often the most independent, well rounded children I know.  I will never, ever subscribe to the idea that by holding, snuggling, kissing, or sleeping next to my child is "spoiling" them.  It isn't.  Attachment parenting has many positive benefits for both parents and children.  There is science behind it-chemistry and biology that supports this.  Attachment parenting isn't new and it isn't indulgent .  Attachment parenting IS responding to y...

After speaking with my wonderful sister-in-law Jessica this evening, I decided I should probably blog.  We talked a lot about a lot of things (as we always do), and one thing we discussed was being introverted versus extroverted about things. Most of the time, I am extroverted (could you tell??), but there are indeed times that I am not.  This would be one of those times. I have a tendency to share too much.  Maybe it isn't too much.  I feel like somehow if I am not sharing all my struggles, my nuances, and my "dirt," I am being less than authentic.  Or I feel like I am pretending. I realize most, if not all, people have things they prefer to keep to themselves.  I understand that totally.  I just can't shake the feeling that I am somehow a fake, an imposter, when I am not fully disclosing.   Maybe it is my fear of lacking the perfection I've always strived for (and missed) in my life. I don't feel like a great mom or even a very...

This week's Phenomenal Mom Friday post was written by my friend Shanna, whom I've known for 10 years!  Shanna shares her amazing story here:   There's a quote that goes something like, "Make as many plans as you want, but ultimately it's God's plan you'll follow." I've heard different versions of it my entire life but only recently did it truly make the most sense. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of growing up, getting married, and having babies. Call me simple and not much of a dreamer. I've always wanted to be a wife and a Mommy. However, when you're little, things seem very simple and as we grow up we learn the world is not as easy going as it appeared when we were children.  Wedding bells I married the love of my life, George, 4 years ago this past June 8th. We've been together for 8. He might not be the perfect man, but he's perfect for me. Right off the bat, we knew we wanted kids but decided to have a ...

Love is patient, love is kind...famous words that we all know so well. I'm pretty loved.  The love I experience is all those famous words and more. Love is...when your mom buys you a fancy sonic toothbrush because she still cares about your oral hygiene that much . Love is...when your dog lays at your feet, just so you can rub your feet all over her as you nap. Love is...when you've been away from your daughter and she runs full speed into hugging your legs upon your return. Love is...when your sister runs the bridge with you, just so you don't have to run alone. Love is...when you know the person you've left your daughter with is more than a babysitter, when she's with family . Love is...when your dad cheers so loudly for you during your graduation that your ears still ring all those years later. Love is...the brother who rushes to the emergency room when you're there. Love is...when the neighborhood cat keeps coming back, and he's ...

This week's Phenomenal Mom Friday post comes from a writer who wishes to keep her name and the name of her daughter private.   Here's her story...  The day I realized that I was probably pregnant, I was so disappointed. I had committed as a teenager that I would save myself for my husband and for him alone. I committed to purity. And I was doing it. There I was 33 years old and still a virgin and extremely proud of it. Until one day I was pressured to think that if I ever wanted to find someone who would marry me one day that I was gonna have to give it up. Of course, deep down I knew that wasn’t true but I had been experiencing such intense loneliness that I convinced myself that maybe he was right. Maybe I was too uptight.  Maybe if I loosened up a little I would find the love I had always wanted. So, I gave in. Next thing I know I’m missing my monthly cycle and I’m freaking out.  Shortly after becoming pregnant I found myself also alone. It was just me and ...

I've been sitting here for the last 18 or so minutes, just thinking.  Not tired.  Not thinking of anything in particular.  Just sitting, sleeplessly. Its funny how my summer already feels like its slipping away from me so quickly.  It has hardly begun!  Yet the end of July brings back to work, and I cannot say I am looking forward to it.  Summer, however, has been a transition for me as always.  I can't even remember how we spent last summer, to be honest! With the end of going to Auntie Dan's house and the beginning of being home for the summer, we've gone through some adjustments to our typical "routine" (not that there was much of one to begin with).  First of all, my little bitty (is not so little) has decided that she wants to wake up as soon as she hears me pee.  So...I lay in bed, full bladder, hoping to catch a few more moments of rest.  Always, and I mean always, when she hears me pee (our bedroom shares a wall with hers and...

Today's Phenomenal Mom Friday post comes courtesy of my dear friend Tori.  Tori is not only a phenomenal mom, but she is also an amazing teacher who works with special education students.   Here's her story...  Phenomenal Mom Tori & her precious little girl I always knew that I wanted to be a mother…ever since I was a little girl. I would play “house” like the average little girl does. I always wanted to be a mother to a precious little boy. While playing “house,” my role was always that of a mommy that had two little boys. I had this set in my mind from the get go. When my husband and I found out that we were pregnant, everyone started telling us that we were definitely having a girl – believing that sending me pictures of cute baby girls would magically create a little girl inside of me. Friends and family started to look up old wives tales and would guarantee that we were having a little girl. Friends and family began to buy little girl item...

My beautiful girl...and me, the me I can't stand looking at in the mirror. I hate being fat.  I hate it.  I didn't gain that much weight during my pregnancy, only 37 pounds.  Now, while I realize it is suggested to gain only 15-25, I know MANY women who have told me they gained 50, 60, 70, 80 pounds during their pregnancy.  Yet I find myself, today, weighing 3-4 pounds more than when I left the hospital...only 18-20 pounds lighter than I was the last time I got weighed before Ayla was born. Ick Being this heavy is ruining my life in a number of ways.  I don't mean to say my life is over or ruined because I'm overweight (technically obese according to my BMI), but it is having so many negative effects on my life.   Love the belly I can't buy clothes.  I've tried. Nothing fits, even when I try other sizes.  It is like my body was built all wrong, then add the weight on top of it...screwed. In the last 2 years, I've purchased very few it...

If you have ever perused Craigslist , you have probably seen the plethora of cats and dogs being given away because the owners "don't have the time to give him/her the attention he/she deserves."  Or they've had children and no longer can care for their pet.  The list goes on and on.   The people I actually feel bad for are the ones who can no longer afford to feed their pets.  Or people with pets who don't respond to training and are capable of causing physical harm to family members.  I'm not saying the decision to get rid of a pet comes easily.  I know it is heart-wrenching.  Growing up, I watched my dad get rid of dogs we had for various reasons.  I hated it.  The day we had to take MY dog, Bo Jangles, to the animal shelter, I was heartbroken.  I was 4.  I will never forget that day. Is it hard to give animals the love and attention they deserve?  Yes.  We certainly struggle in our own way.  We know our dogs a...

Tonight's blog is randomness...enjoy! 1. I am going through my closet and getting rid of stuff.  I have nothing to wear as it is, so this will leave me with less, but I'm doing it.  (And hope eventually I might actually lose some weight with my current program of exercise and diet).  One thing I will not get rid of is my pre-preggo jeans.  Not throwing in the towel on getting back into those... 2.   People who put their babies on "eating schedules" annoy me.  I'm sorry, but I don't restrict myself to eating/drinking on a timed schedule, so I certainly don't expect an INFANT to follow one. 3. I can't wait until we get the flooring done in the mudroom and kitchen.  Our flooring is awful, I don't even like looking at it or walking on it.  It is the one thing I truly hated when we looked at this house. 4. My sister is awesome.  I love spending time with her.  She is really an amazing individual, so smart and funny and real.  I hope...

I am very excited to bring you the first guest post for Mama Speaks new series, "Phenomenal Mom Fridays."  This post was written by Gillian, author of What the Hell Mama .  I met her many years ago (through my best friend Henriette, a close friend of Gillian's), on the day her daughter Allyson was born.   Here's her story... Single parenthood is not uncommon in society today. A lot of it is a choice, a result of a failed relationship, or a parent that just doesn’t want to take responsibility for the child(ren) they helped create. Then there are those of us who become single parents as a result of tragedy.  Gillian and Chris Rewind to January 28, 2009. My children were really young. Allyson was four years-old and Dominic was two years-old. Their father, Chris, and I were up watching a movie and having some “quality time” when he suffered a brain aneurysm and died instantly. There was a lot of craziness that became involved as part of his death, a visit ...