This I believe...

1. I believe that there is no such thing as "spoiling" a child when it comes to affection.  Some people think that if you hold a baby too much, you're "spoiling" them.  "Don't hold that baby too much or else they will expect it all the time."  I'm not saying moms and dads cannot take a break when it is needed, but so many parents' attitudes come across as though their own child is inconveniencing them with needing to be held.  Children who form a solid attachment with parent(s) are often the most independent, well rounded children I know.  I will never, ever subscribe to the idea that by holding, snuggling, kissing, or sleeping next to my child is "spoiling" them.  It isn't.  Attachment parenting has many positive benefits for both parents and children.  There is science behind it-chemistry and biology that supports this.  Attachment parenting isn't new and it isn't indulgent.  Attachment parenting IS responding to your baby's needs and believing in the language of your baby's cry.  Babies cry when they need something.  If they don't need a diaper or to eat, then they most likely need you.  This article affirmed my thinking in this way (whether or not it was the author's intention):  when we cry out to God (or a parent or anyone), what do we expect?  We expect an answer.  I will respond to the needs of my child, and when she is crying, what she doesn't need is to be ignored.  Just because I held and carried her in my body for 9 months doesn't mean that her need for me to hold and carry her ceased when she showed her pretty little face to this big, overwhelming world.

She isn't spoiled.

She is loved!

2. I believe in helping my child learn from her mistakes, which spanking is not a part of.  Spanking serves absolutely, positively no purpose in my book.  It only teaches a child fear and violence.  If Ayla hits me, what am I teaching her by hitting?  Nothing.  If Ayla doesn't do what I ask her, what does that teach her?  Nothing.  It may cause her fear of repeating what she did or did not do, but has she truly learned anything from it?  No.  She might stop, but she won't stop for the right reason.  She won't stop hitting because it hurts others and isn't nice-she will stop because she knows she might get hit.  She might listen to me, but it won't be out of respect for me.  It will be because she's afraid I'll hit her.  Fear does NOT equal respect in my book.  I especially like the explanation given here about "Spare the rod and spoil the child."  I won't even bother to rephrase, as the author did a fine job debunking that piece of work of an argument in favor of spanking.  If I allow my child to be spanked in order for her to "obey" or "respect" me, then I should also be willing to allow Brandon to hit me when I forget to put the dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink.  That would teach me, right?

Uh oh, somebody found some mischief.

It is a picture worthy event, but no cause for a spanking. (Note: we solved this problem by talking about dog food and water being for dogs, not babies.  She now helps us feed the dogs daily!)

 3. I believe in moms helping each other instead of tearing each other down.  Moms are a tough crowd.  We all know it all, right?  I believe it is important to surround yourself with intelligent moms that share common parenting goals.  My wonderful friend Amanda of Wife. Mama. Educator. is actually the person who first mentioned extended rear-facing (ERF) to me.  She did it in a positive, factual, loving manner that prompted me to learn more about car seat safety.  She didn't tell me what to do, she merely asked me what my plans were for Ayla's future car seat usage.  It was the first time I'd heard of ERFing, and I don't know if I would've heard it otherwise to be honest.  I may have stumbled upon the info eventually, but who knows?  I can tell you who I wouldn't have heard it from: my pediatrician.  The hospital.  Television commercials or ads in mommy magazines.  The information existed, but nobody was putting it out there in a big way.  That angered me and inspired me to learn more and more about car seat safety.  It bothers me on a daily basis to see the flagrant misuse of car seats.  The most dangerous thing people do on a daily basis is get into their cars.  I have some ideas and dreams for my future that involve my car seat passion, but in the meantime, I hope that I can find a way to gently encourage moms in my life and that I encounter to learn more about car seat safety and implement the safest option for their precious cargo.  I will forever be grateful to my fearless friend Amanda who was brave enough to say something to me without making me feel like a bad mom.  I'm a better mom for it.

Happily extended rear-facing on her 2nd birthday!

"You want me to rear-face until I'm HOW OLD??"

Friends forever!